You are the sugar in my tea, You are my Jellof rice ❤
It feels good when the person you love introduces you to their family and friends as a sign of commitment to the relationship. Perhaps “the more people know, the better”. It addresses whatever competition or confusion out there.
Apart from telling people personally about the relationship, social media takes relationship publicity to a whole new level. Even people we know nothing about know a great deal about our relationship status. I wont be surprise if anyone derive a sense of wholeness or validation in their relationship via social media ‘likes’ and ‘comments‘.
However “Is it wrong if less people know about our relationship before marriage?” this question is in no way suggesting that relationships should be hidden. Of course It is no new knowledge that keeping relationships low key breed controversies among those around us. For example, some may say “he doesn’t love you if he keeps you low key” or “she is cheating on you that’s why she wants the relationship low key”. But is it always the case?
Low key does not necessarily mean that nobody is aware of the relationship but rather, only relevant people know.
Personally, I prefer a low key relationship. Parents and siblings are the relevant parties worthy of any updates; some trust-worthy friends too but the fewer the better. If I have my way, my friends would only know about my relationship/ partner few weeks or days to my wedding 😀 ! Yes, I love things to be done quietly.
Of course the complexities of life and human nature makes relationship a big deal these days especially for people that ‘care’ about us and wants the best for us. Therefore some of the questions or comment that may pop up are;
- ‘What if your partner is cheating on you, how would you know?’
- ‘Don’t you think if we know him, we can help you keep an eye on him/her to be sure they aren’t messing around’
- ‘What if your partner isn’t who he or she claims to be?’
- What if I have a past with your partner or know somebody that has a past with him, don’t you think you should know?
But some of the advantages for keeping relationships low key are;
- It gives both partners ample space to learn more about each other without external influences or false expectations of people hanging over the relationship. Partners are able to be themselves, make mistakes, grow from their mistakes and make personal decisions of what they want from the relationship
- In cases of crisis, partners are most likely to seek advice from only a few matured mentors
- Keeping the relationship low key also guards it from false opinions and characters that may negatively impact on the relationship
- It helps partners to learn to trust each other more
- It exempts partners from any pressure of keeping the public abreast of the happenings in the relationship. In others words, posting picture online or making public tribute to ones partner will be done more genuinely as opposed to indirectly trying to please public attention
- It gives the relationship a chance to grow, mature and survive
More so, we cannot be gullible to assume everyone around us have our best interest at heart. Truth be told, many so called friends are not happy that to see their friends in a love relationship. So many relationships have been ruined by so called friends that are manipulative, deceptive, jealous or just plain mean. I have had my share of experiences and I would advice to place reasonable boundaries in our relationships. Keeping it LOW KEY might be the recipe for your relationship
‘You were the sugar in my tea until sand got into the tea, You were my jellof rice until you let it fall on stones’
© MisG Chinonye Ifezue