I THOUGHT IT WAS LOVE…

2016-09-26-08-45-52

No other words could describe this meeting than DIVINE...
Throw a dice twice, what are the chances you get the same number twice?
He said he really liked me, I said I liked him too
He said lets start something, I said cool, I meant awesome

We felt perfect, snap two fingers, I'll tell you we clicked like that
Dark, tall, brilliant, ambitious; what I wanted in a guy
He knows Christ, he follows Christ... a bit
I mean, We are all sinners after all right?

So it began, the lovey dovey episode
I cry, he shows up, he calls, I show up
kiss kiss, kiss kiss
I love you, you love me...
My one big family knew nothing

No need to ask God, it felt 'God sent'
Mom may give me the 'look'
Dad may throw in 'heavy proverbs'
Siblings... well, why should they know?
Main goal, keep your heart floating towards him

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 months, what went wrong?
I love you, you love me...
Its time to go to the next level
Hint hint, my heart skipped, am not ready but kiss kiss wasn't enough
This body, I cannot sacrifice on the alter of premarital sex

He's Getting tired, I could see it
His words, actions turned to blades
Ring ring ring ring... "God why is he not picking?"
1, 2, 3, 4 words... that's all he afforded
10, 30, 60 minutes waiting, he said he forgot our meeting

Those ladies looked prettier than me, his eyes said
Who do you think you are, His action said
My heart was sinking, "Somebody help" but who?
I ventured into a sea with no life guard
Pop pop pop all over my face, these scares today can prove it 

Cried myself to sleep, I asked God why?
Letting go, I felt my heart reaped to pieces
I deeply fell for a guy that trampled on my worth over and over and over
10 minutes prayer, I wanted his life process compressed
I wanted his love by force, I wanted it right from him

I could not pay back in same coin, though you may say he deserves it

Ooh why? I asked over and over and over and over...
I made his friend my friend to ask for help
To discover later he was the subtle poison that wrecked this ship completely
Here he was, loathing for my love while spiting venom to keep us dead
I finally heard, "My child, let go..."

I could finally breath again, my process to restoration

Ooh I am thankful I survived
I am thankful, I forgave and I am forgiven
I am thankful for the lessons I learnt
I am thankful my crown glows brighter 

Years gone by...
I realized I wanted a gift that was not mine 
A full bread for someone but a crumb to me
An incompatible partner that will give more friction than Joy
I learnt what love was not and what love is

Grateful I let go, paved way for the gift I have today

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About Misggrace

An upcoming drama and movie writer. Concerned about distorted values of the society and i would therefore express these concerns through writings using a christian perspective.
This entry was posted in Personal Experiences, Poems. Bookmark the permalink.

46 Responses to I THOUGHT IT WAS LOVE…

  1. Pingback: IF THERE IS A GOOD GOD | forgottenempathy

  2. JudyGerald says:

    Wow, this is incredible. I like it. πŸ‘Œ

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The dance of love and lost love. A painful experience by all means. I enjoyed the flow of your writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dainty M says:

    This is so beautifully written! I adore the honesty in this! God bless you for sharing πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Comfort says:

    Thanks Grace. You are truly an inspiration. It is a relief to know that we are not alone in this battle of hearts. God understands and he will perfect all that concerns us. Grace…fighting!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This looks to be told from a woman’s perspective.It’s pretty much the same for the guys but I bet it’s a bit more crushing having been there before :-(..
    Perhaps God works in ways we cannot see and have the best plans for us.
    A very wonderful piece dear.You should alert me whenever you have such

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Nam H Nguyen says:

    I thought you were gone 😦
    Welcome back Misgrace! I love the poem by the way!
    It’s really emotional, and I like the story progression – how the narrator comes around to the realisation that she has to let go.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Such a lovely poem. So sad to read the end. But I’m Happy you stood Firm and did not share your body for his pleasure. Such men should be slaughtered on the road itself.
    God gave you a Better Person , than him. Thank God you managed to move on and forget.

    Like

  9. Glad you’ve made it through. I’ll be honest, I was there before as well.

    Though we were from 2 different worlds, my ex (Europe) and I (Asia) were both deeply and madly in love. We were each other’s first partner and thought we’d be able to last till death did us part. Unfortunately, we were wrong. We did have a great run of 4 years though (6 years if you count friendship before romantic relationship). It was a long distance relationship lol, can you imagine that lasting so long?! XD

    Lots of things happened between us, both good and bad. Regardless, I know I was determined to stay by her side no matter what. That much I made clear. Sadly, she felt that there’s no way we could work because she “Lost the feelings for me”.

    To me, honestly, it’s a stupid answer. In fact, it’s not an answer.
    One does not simply let go of a relationship because the feelings are gone.
    It’s called commitment-
    The thing that made me stick through thick and thin with her even though she could be real ridiculous in her demands in our relationship. But nevertheless, I had no choice but to accept it.

    Needless to say, my heart was torn when she told me she wanted a break up because she didn’t love me anymore. It’s like I’ve lost my wife because we were supposed to get engaged and married soon. Yes I got the ring as requested by her. I didn’t think we were ready yet but she insisted because she needed assurance that I AM committed to her. So I did everything to prove it to her and then she throws in the bomb to end everything with me? Lol like wtf right?

    Obviously I hated her then and thought I would hate her for life. I was wrong. The hate ended after a few years. I came to realize that I hated her that much because I loved her that much.
    I wasn’t ready nor able to let go and I hated her for taking everything away. If she just said “Yes”, she could’ve given everything back but she refused to and chose to abandon me and our relationship. I couldn’t take the blow of that reality and I seriously resented her to my bones for doing this to me.

    That was until a friend recommended that I throw everything I had of her away. Anything that is connected to her so that I will be able to forget. I tried forgetting her and did as recommended but couldn’t do it fully because I didn’t want to let her go. Unlike most ppl, I didn’t wish that my ex didn’t enter my life. In fact, I LOVED the fact that she was in my life!

    When I had this realization, I started to look back at all the times we spent together- There were bad times as well but there were so many good times! Then, a revelation- Insight into my own relationship issue-
    I was angry at her because I know I will never be able to experience those joys again. That was why I kept trying to forget her so that I will never have to face this fact again.

    Of course, that’s delusional and it’s only going to do more harm than good if I persisted on with the idea. When I realized this, I stopped trying to forget her and instead, started embracing and thanking her for everything she’s given me. Especially her love. She taught me what love is as well (Romantically) and I will never forget her for that. I only hope that she feels the same about me and remember me as the man who loved her truly for who she was, despite her rather ridiculous controlling personality hahaha!

    If you or your readers want to read more of my story with her, I talk a little more personally about it in a Guest Post for another blogger pal here-> https://thehappylife101.wordpress.com/2016/09/10/i-hate-her-no-more/

    Anywho, as with your other commenters here, seriously, good post bud. Loving the spirit you’ve got. Glad you’ve gained something from a Loss, just as how I did as well and thank you for sharing it with everyone.

    Ultimately, we must never lose sight of ourselves and our purpose in life. I felt like the world ended for me because back then because I gave up everything that I could for her. She was literally my life. Like I’ve said, I saw her as my wife and I was willing to give up my life for her so when she left me, it’s like my life goal is now missing lol. Obviously not good XD

    Okay I shall end this here. Hope you had fun reading and gained something from it and I shall talk to you again soon πŸ˜‰

    Btw, considering how genuine of a person you are, I’d like to invite you to join our project and perhaps our forum as well to help with the testing of it? See if it works etc so that we can get it ready for our future community when it’s bigger. What do you say?

    I’m trying (Along with a few friends on WordPress) to create a community for ppl to go to whenever they need some positivity in life and we believe that it is possible (Hence the Project lol!)

    Everything can be found on my website but I’d still love to hear from you so let me know yeah?

    Your pal,
    Benjamin
    http://www.projectbiy.com

    Liked by 1 person

    • Misggrace says:

      As I scrolled down your comment, i was like “Woow”. A big one! You tell your story so well and its unfortunate that after investing so much into this relationship, yet it ended. I know how it feels though mine was in months. I just chose to believe that all things work together for good; and definitely that phase is working for your good. So much maturity as I read through your narration of this Love story. I am sure many readers will appreciate it. I was telling a friend that we all have various version of love stories. Am so glad that we found peace, joy and more so, it built in us good virtues. I will definitely like to know more about the project to see if i can truly be a part of it. I am currently on my masters degree, so time seems so costly these days, more so, i often time procrastinate.. though am daily working on it because its not good for someone who desires to be the best hahaha! Thanks you so much and God bless you. Looking forward to hearing from you. my gmail is misggrace@gmail.com, my name is God’sgrace. people often don’t believe its my name, but it just is hahaha πŸ™‚ .

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Wow, I really love this. It shows that God knows when we’re unequally yoked, even if we don’t! I’m so glad you shared this πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Judy❀ says:

    This is beyond beautiful. Indeed He never leaves us nor forsakes us. Thank you for sharing this with testimony.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I love the line where you realized you had been lusting after a gift meant for someone else, a piece of bread to them and a crumb to you. This really shows spiritual maturity. And I agree that this would make a powerful spoken word piece. Be the voice of your Lord.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Misggrace says:

      Thank you so much πŸ™πŸ˜„… it was a painful process.. so much hate and bitterness then because I was looking at things my own way instead of God’s way. But when I learnt to surrender, things became easier and better. God bless you for your commentβ€πŸ’™

      Liked by 1 person

  13. brettfish says:

    Sho, really powerful wow. Thank you for sharing and the vulnerability that comes with it. Grateful for new beginnings and lessons learnt despite the pain of going through them.

    Keep on
    love brett fish

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Papberry says:

    Beautifully scriptedπŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»

    Liked by 1 person

  15. This is absolutely beautiful!! You should try reciting this as a “spoken word piece”. Love it!!

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Wow!!! Speechless!!! This is a very powerful and lovely piece; very well written. Love Love it.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Aches of Love apart, lessons in life are at times learnt the hard way , the color n texture of love just changing from love between the beloved to one of universal love en route the grace of forgiveness .. Nice reading Grace ,after a pause I suppose. God Bless.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Misggrace says:

      hahaha “after a pause” Its been a bit hectic for me.. I am currently studying my Masters and its a full plate.. Time has been a luxury these days.. but I am so thankful to God I was afforded time today πŸ™‚ .. More so, i have missed your blog posts.. Therefore, i will be checking them out soonest yaay! True, sometimes we learn the hard way but God’s faithfulness endures <3. God bless you my good friend

      Liked by 1 person

  18. fortunate23 says:

    Beautiful, I love it. Sometimes God just let’s us experience some things to teach us a lesson. It’s up to us to learn.

    Liked by 1 person

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