I spoke to a friend few months ago on a topic I can not completely recollect. However, I remember I asked these exact question “Why does your girlfriend not go to the same church as you? Why does she have to visit your church once in a while and yet she does not have a stable church? Are you ashamed of her or something?” and He replied
“I don’t want the younger youths in my church to get it all wrong. Yes I plan to get married, perhaps sooner than later but meanwhile I don’t want these young folks to misinterpret my relationship and therefore venture into a sea they know little to nothing about and get drowned. Especially when I know they are immature and not ready for relationships. Only relevant people know about my relationship”
His statement spoke volumes to me and I hope it speaks volumes to you as well.
See, he is not saying that relationship is a foreign term to these folks; perhaps they are already into it. He is rather acknowledging that he has a role to play in the lives of these folks and he is going to try as much as possible to play it right as opposed to misleading them through careless decisions.
We must understand that there are eyes watching us either as a big brother or big sister, mentors, leaders, teachers, friends, aunt, uncle, parent etc… Some of these eyes we know and some of these eyes, we may not know, however, they are all watching. Therefore, let us be mindful of our actions (PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT WE DO) and learn to foresee the weaknesses of others to ensure we don’t dig pits for these loved ones. Let us not assume that they know and therefore treat them on the same scale of maturity as ourselves. Believe it or not, their view of a ‘PICTURE’ may not be as broad as yours or mine and therefore, are most likely to misguidedly interpret situations.
Let us not give these eyes that watch us the courage to do things they never had the gut to do on their own. Because somehow, somewhere deep inside of them, they knew, know it is wrong but are waiting for us to tell them its OK or NOT THAT BAD or even watch us model it out to them to follow. e.g.
- Don’t discuss the weaknesses of others, group or church with these young ones (baby Christians, employee etc) because they are likely to misinterpret what you say to suit them or falsely impress you. It may give them reasons to indulge in gossips; reasons to avoid, segregate and discriminate amongst people; reason to skip church, school or work which can be detrimental to their personal, spiritual or social growth. In as much as you may not like certain people for certain reasons, however, God may have placed that person in their paths to bring out certain virtues in them or to help them in their future career and goals. You just don’t know! therefore don’t play God. Let them discover the weaknesses of that person by themselves, mind you, they are likely not going to see what you see in that person. Our opinions may be subjective. But be available to give wise, godly counsel to enable them over come where needed.
2. Don’t make them think it is alright using vulgar language no matter how pissed off you are or may feel about a situation. Learn to control yourself and your words.
3. Don’t insult your partner in front of them. Don’t teach them that it is OK to lack patience, love and respect when things are tough in their friendship or personal life. They would eventually get into a relationship someday and may refer to how you handled your own relationship. Don’t show them that ABUSE is OK (Victim or perpetrator)
4. Work hard and strive to succeed in whatever little or big thing you set to do. Don’t make them think its just OK to fail, they must equally understand that rising up completes the process. Don’t condone laziness, be an example of strength even though its common knowledge that we are not immune to weaknesses.
5. Don’t make them feel good about disrespecting elders no matter how you feel about whoever it is they are disrespecting. If you think its right for them to disrespect and insult people you don’t like, don’t get annoyed when they turn and disrespect you when they feel they don’t like you.
6. Dress modestly! when I see some guys sag their pants and walk around as though they have painful lumps in their butts, I just laugh within myself. Who in the world said that sagging is cool? Why? In my opinion, people are over doing and it is not cute. I automatically tag you as a boy or child when I see you sag as a guy. I won’t go much into ladies attire because my previous post does justice to the topic.
7. Let them know that poor people are not less human beings than they are are. Let them know that they can hang out with successful people and be successful themselves, yet remain humble.
All these may seem tough, but if it were your child or younger brother and sister looking up to you, what would you do? You mostly likely ❤ love them and therefore would not lead them to destructive path.
Thanks for reading through…
Share your thoughts and feed backs in the comment box below, it would be much appreciated
Stay blessed 🙂