In a television program I watched few days ago, a woman nearly lost her fiance because she confided in her so called ‘friends’ during a social gathering, “He is a reckless spender and am worried for our future. To be honest, I don’t think I want to go into a marriage and starve all because of my man’s financial mismanagement”. Somehow, what she said got to the ears of her fiance in a spiced up version and he felt so humiliated that he called off their engagement. He wondered why she would say something like that to the ‘whole world’ to make him a laughing stock and taint his reputation. But the least thing in the mind of this lady was to tarnish the reputation of the one she loved, she was only worried and spoke out her concerns during the gathering, after all, others were sharing their problems. At the end, through the intervention of a close family friend, the couple finally reconciled and she learnt her lesson.

The above is a typical example of the damage impulsive speaking can cause to a person or group. Often times we confuse the term SLOW TO SPEAK with S/HE DOES NOT TALK. A person that does not talk is dumb but that does not mean that they are slow to speak because they have their own medium of communication. If they communicate impulsively just like a person who can talk does, they would fall into the same problem.

What then is SLOW TO SPEAK? It means giving a considerable amount of time (short or lengthy) to thought process before responding. Basically, THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. These days, a lot of people speak without thinking because they say “O well, let me just get it out of my chest and forget about it” but the problem is that whatever you say can give a person a lot of information about you, your family or issues you might be facing and unfortunately, if the person you said it to has no good intentions towards you, then whatever you’ve said would most probably be used against you or your loved ones or company in the near or further future.

SLOW TO SPEAK is about LISTENING attentively to both SAID and UNSAID words of a person or people. It is equally a reflection of WISDOM

SLOW TO SPEAK is about self control when the need to respond arises. Let me give a brief biblical example in John 8:1-11 when the Pharisee brought an adulteress to Jesus for permission to stone.  They asked of his opinion and check what verse 6 says. His action in that verse should be emulated. I am not saying stoop to the floor and write on the ground but rather do not be in a hurry to give response to people at all time because a times, their intentions are

  1. To tempt you and
  2. To get you into trouble with your own words/ response

What lessons can be learnt,

  1. If your input is needed and relevant at that given point, THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK
  2. If your input is not relevant or needed, don’t force it, just BE QUIET, Its not a must that you have say something. You don’t need people’s attention at all times, you don’t need to impress people by talking or giving your opinions at every given scenario. That’s why today we have GOSSIPERS and BUSY BODIES that keep digging pitfalls for themselves through their words.
  3. When your response is being sought after but you are not comfortable giving it because you don’t sincerely trust the person asking you for it, you don’t have to respond. Say little to nothing that gives a clear message that you don’t want to talk about it. No ONE WILL KILL YOU if you decide you want to keep quiet.

Remember, there are three kinds of people you are likely talking to

  1. The Immature people, This kind of people will blab their mouth a lot to people and spread what you have said to them intentionally or unintentionally. 2) they may most likely misunderstand your message and therefore fight with you or call you the enemy, either ways, it will get you in trouble.
  2. People with no good intention towards you. They would politely get close to you to know more about you so that they can use it against you intentionally when the time comes. These are friendly foes. They are envious and Jealous of you, and your well being does not sit right in their heart. they fake their happiness towards you. and your misery brings comfort to their heart.
  3. Mature people with good intentions for you. They would always be frank to you sweet or sour but all to your benefit. Deep down, you will always find truth in their advice no matter how painful it may be at the moment. Their end goal is to see a better person in you

SLOW TO SPEAKbe sure of your facts firstbe slowquiet Registered & Protected  W5DR-AQB0-SDOS-MJKB

7 Comments Add yours

  1. Cliford Ringo says:

    I like the writings. People needs to learn about these life skills because many have fallen in traps without knowing that it is their tongues together with their pressing hearts which does not give a minutes of synthesizing first before ejecting the words to undetermined public. I know people can be taught different arts one of them being the one you’ve just aired. lets try to contain our emotions, lets control our inner persons, by so doing we will be safe in our goings in this world; this is the desire of everybody!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. misggrace says:

      Very true… i pray that we as young people Learn to use our tongues


  2. shaigirl96 says:

    All young people need to read this. I know a ton of people who speak before thinking and all it does it cause pain and judgement.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. misggrace says:

      True… it often causes so much hurt….

      do share on any page you wish for more people to see it, i’ll do the same

      Thanks 4 d comment
      God bless 🙂


  3. I Am Mai says:

    Yes… Think before you speak… And write… Sometimes easier said than done but you I agree that you should always be mindful of your words- whether written or spoken because words hold a certain magic to them- almost like a spell… And when it is uttered, sometimes it is hard to undo the “spell”. This was a lovely read by the way, I felt bad for the lady, she probably had a snake among the group of “friends” she was talking to, maybe someone who was jealous of her. And I like how the advice is to think before you speak instead of don’t trust your friends.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. misggrace says:

      Exactly, we can’t always be running away from people, but we can learn to think before we say certain things or act in certain ways that give out our current situation.. Thanks for the feed back.. I appreciate it alot

      Liked by 1 person

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